Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Magical Christmas
I apologize for the delay in posts. It's been crazy since going back to work. I need to find my new "normal." With that said, it was such a magical Christmas for sure. It felt so complete, so right. We are happy to be a family of 4 during Christmas and always. A few pics of our Christmas miracles:
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Meeting Our Daughter
DH and I went back to our room, prayed, paced, looked out the window (still lightly snowing), and waited. We were told they would start the surgery at 4:30. At 4:45, the nurse that was going to be in the OR with her came in and said they would start at 5:00. At 5:20, the nurse came back and told us to come meet our daughter. She had been born at 5:12.
Our baby girl was waiting for us in the nursery. She was born 9 lb. 5 oz. but she still looked small to us. She had dark hair, the most perfect round little face, and a loud set of lungs!
BM had expressed to the nurses that she wanted me to cut the cord. She was still in recovery and DH was worried that BM didn't get to hold the baby first, but the nurse assured us that BM wanted us to cut the cord, she wanted us to hold the baby. DH held our beautiful daughter, then I got to cut the cord. She was not happy about being exposed. She couldn't wait to be bundled up in her blankets and little hat. We were able to bring sweet Gracie to see her BM in recovery. Even though BM was a little loopy from meds during the surgery, she was still as sweet as pumpkin pie. She had just had our baby, but she said "It makes me happy to see you happy. Congratulations." Have I told you how awesome she is? Unfathomable. Just wow.
BM needed rest. We were able to keep Gracie in our room that night, all except for the constant influx of nurses coming in at random hours to take her to get screened, tested, poked, and prodded. It's funny how much you "forget" about taking care of a newborn. It had been 4 years, so DH and I were a little rusty that first night. It's amazing, though, how it all comes flooding back. "Oh yeah, I remember that!"
The rest of the hospital stay was just as great. It was awesome spending that quality time with BM and her mom, too. Sometimes Gracie would stay with us, other times BM asked us if it was okay for Gracie to stay in her room. Were we worried? Not at all. There was a trust there that can't be described.
I can't get over how well the hospital staff treated us. They even served us the fancy dinner that new parents get after their little ones arrive. BM and her mom got a meal and so did we. The plan was to eat dinner together, but we had dessert together instead since BM needed her rest.
All too soon, it came time for us to leave the hospital (after mounds of more paperwork). This was the most difficult time of the whole experience. Even though BM was happy for us, she was still grieving. Understandably. We were prepared for that. What we weren't prepared for, however, is the emotions WE would feel leaving the hospital. We were so excited to have our new bundle of joy to love forever, but we were also so sad for the BM. We grieved right along with her. Even though we all agreed that we were all gaining new family, it was still very real that the child she had been carrying for the last 9 months was not going home with her.
BM and I exchanged cell phone numbers to text each other, even though we probably weren't supposed to. All communication is recommended to go through the agency at first, until finalization. However, we didn't feel guilty about this exchange at all. I think it helped her to know that we weren't lying when we were saying that this isn't the end. That we are a family now. That any time she wants to talk to us, we are just a text away.
Before we left the state, we met for lunch one day. She was able to meet my parents and our first DD. We were even able to take some professional pictures together on a different day.
I am so thankful for Gracie's BM. She is a beautiful person, inside and out. I love knowing that Gracie will be able to talk to her whenever she wants. I love that we are all family and that there are no secrets.
Our baby girl was waiting for us in the nursery. She was born 9 lb. 5 oz. but she still looked small to us. She had dark hair, the most perfect round little face, and a loud set of lungs!
BM had expressed to the nurses that she wanted me to cut the cord. She was still in recovery and DH was worried that BM didn't get to hold the baby first, but the nurse assured us that BM wanted us to cut the cord, she wanted us to hold the baby. DH held our beautiful daughter, then I got to cut the cord. She was not happy about being exposed. She couldn't wait to be bundled up in her blankets and little hat. We were able to bring sweet Gracie to see her BM in recovery. Even though BM was a little loopy from meds during the surgery, she was still as sweet as pumpkin pie. She had just had our baby, but she said "It makes me happy to see you happy. Congratulations." Have I told you how awesome she is? Unfathomable. Just wow.
BM needed rest. We were able to keep Gracie in our room that night, all except for the constant influx of nurses coming in at random hours to take her to get screened, tested, poked, and prodded. It's funny how much you "forget" about taking care of a newborn. It had been 4 years, so DH and I were a little rusty that first night. It's amazing, though, how it all comes flooding back. "Oh yeah, I remember that!"
The rest of the hospital stay was just as great. It was awesome spending that quality time with BM and her mom, too. Sometimes Gracie would stay with us, other times BM asked us if it was okay for Gracie to stay in her room. Were we worried? Not at all. There was a trust there that can't be described.
I can't get over how well the hospital staff treated us. They even served us the fancy dinner that new parents get after their little ones arrive. BM and her mom got a meal and so did we. The plan was to eat dinner together, but we had dessert together instead since BM needed her rest.
All too soon, it came time for us to leave the hospital (after mounds of more paperwork). This was the most difficult time of the whole experience. Even though BM was happy for us, she was still grieving. Understandably. We were prepared for that. What we weren't prepared for, however, is the emotions WE would feel leaving the hospital. We were so excited to have our new bundle of joy to love forever, but we were also so sad for the BM. We grieved right along with her. Even though we all agreed that we were all gaining new family, it was still very real that the child she had been carrying for the last 9 months was not going home with her.
BM and I exchanged cell phone numbers to text each other, even though we probably weren't supposed to. All communication is recommended to go through the agency at first, until finalization. However, we didn't feel guilty about this exchange at all. I think it helped her to know that we weren't lying when we were saying that this isn't the end. That we are a family now. That any time she wants to talk to us, we are just a text away.
Before we left the state, we met for lunch one day. She was able to meet my parents and our first DD. We were even able to take some professional pictures together on a different day.
I am so thankful for Gracie's BM. She is a beautiful person, inside and out. I love knowing that Gracie will be able to talk to her whenever she wants. I love that we are all family and that there are no secrets.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Birth and Hospital Experience
I wanted to ake a moment to recount the birth of our sweet girl and the hospital experience before i forget be details.
When we were driving on our way to the the state where the birth was to take place, it was lightly snowing. I took this as a sign from God that everything was going to be okay. We snuggled into our hotel bed knowing this was the last night we were going to get of uninterrupted sleep for awhile. Well, between the horrible, lumpy bed, the noisy heater turning off and on throughout the night, and the butterflies in our stomachs, that sleep was just not happening. Almost comical.
The following morning on our drive to the hospital, it was wet and dark and cloudy. We didn't care about the weather, though, we were just a bundle of nerves, not knowing what to expect or how things would unfold. We arrived in the lobby at 7:00. We were supposed to meet the birthmother and her mom at 7:15 because she was scheduled to be induced at 7:30. Minutes later, they arrived. The sweet birthmother was a lot bigger than she was only weeks ago. How is that even possible? Poor girl, she was stretched to the max. We hugged and then she get directions to the L&D floor, and up we went. The 5th floor. That's where home as we knew it (or didn't know at that point) would be for the next 3 days.
While the birthmother got settled in her L&D room, we got settled in the family waiting room. The BM's mom was very good about keeping us informed, running back and forth between our two rooms to give us updates. However, we didn't have to stay there long, because she informed us that the hospital was giving us a room to stay in ourselves!
The hospital and nursing staff were extremely accommodating to us the entire time. I don't know if they had experienced adoptive families and birth families before, but they were very understanding of our situation and very friendly. They treated us equally, as if we had been the patient(s) as well. We also were able to go visit with our BM as she labored. Since only two other people could be in the room at a time, when it wasn't BM's mom and another family member, it was us! We were able to get to know her better during that time, talking about anything and everything to get her mind occupied. We were able to realize how alike our personalities are and how much we have in common. BM asked us to all be in her room at one point. She had a gift for us. Yes, that's how amazing she is. She had saved up through her pregnancy to buy little things here and there for the baby. Clothes, blankets, hair bow, socks...all perfect. All from her. BM's mom came to our room at one point and handed us an envelope and left. Inside the envelope was a letter she had written to us. 3 pages of why she felt this match was perfect and that she was so happy that we were going to be the parents of this baby. WOW. Tears.
Throughout the day, BM would get checked. She was not progressing, not dilating. Memories of my labor with DD kept flooding back. I did not progress past a certain point with her, either. So...talk of a C-section came up. The doctor had to go visit with some patients at his office until 5:00. If the BM still was not progressing by the time he came back to the hospital after his appointments, he would perform the C-section. BM started to get anxious. We tried our best to comfort her. As the day progressed, the sky gave way to the light snow once again. It was so beautiful watching the snow fall lightly through the windows while we waited as the BM labored.
Surprisingly, the doctor came back early, around 3:30, and decided to go ahead with the C-section. BM was extremely disappointed and afraid. She had never been through any kind of surgery before and was completely terrified. Her mom, family member, DH and I stood over her in her hospital bed and held hands while we prayed that she would be comforted by God and that the doctor would have the wisdom to perform the surgery without a hitch, that there would not be any complications, and that BM would feel our love and support. Then she was prepped for surgery.
When we were driving on our way to the the state where the birth was to take place, it was lightly snowing. I took this as a sign from God that everything was going to be okay. We snuggled into our hotel bed knowing this was the last night we were going to get of uninterrupted sleep for awhile. Well, between the horrible, lumpy bed, the noisy heater turning off and on throughout the night, and the butterflies in our stomachs, that sleep was just not happening. Almost comical.
The following morning on our drive to the hospital, it was wet and dark and cloudy. We didn't care about the weather, though, we were just a bundle of nerves, not knowing what to expect or how things would unfold. We arrived in the lobby at 7:00. We were supposed to meet the birthmother and her mom at 7:15 because she was scheduled to be induced at 7:30. Minutes later, they arrived. The sweet birthmother was a lot bigger than she was only weeks ago. How is that even possible? Poor girl, she was stretched to the max. We hugged and then she get directions to the L&D floor, and up we went. The 5th floor. That's where home as we knew it (or didn't know at that point) would be for the next 3 days.
While the birthmother got settled in her L&D room, we got settled in the family waiting room. The BM's mom was very good about keeping us informed, running back and forth between our two rooms to give us updates. However, we didn't have to stay there long, because she informed us that the hospital was giving us a room to stay in ourselves!
The hospital and nursing staff were extremely accommodating to us the entire time. I don't know if they had experienced adoptive families and birth families before, but they were very understanding of our situation and very friendly. They treated us equally, as if we had been the patient(s) as well. We also were able to go visit with our BM as she labored. Since only two other people could be in the room at a time, when it wasn't BM's mom and another family member, it was us! We were able to get to know her better during that time, talking about anything and everything to get her mind occupied. We were able to realize how alike our personalities are and how much we have in common. BM asked us to all be in her room at one point. She had a gift for us. Yes, that's how amazing she is. She had saved up through her pregnancy to buy little things here and there for the baby. Clothes, blankets, hair bow, socks...all perfect. All from her. BM's mom came to our room at one point and handed us an envelope and left. Inside the envelope was a letter she had written to us. 3 pages of why she felt this match was perfect and that she was so happy that we were going to be the parents of this baby. WOW. Tears.
Throughout the day, BM would get checked. She was not progressing, not dilating. Memories of my labor with DD kept flooding back. I did not progress past a certain point with her, either. So...talk of a C-section came up. The doctor had to go visit with some patients at his office until 5:00. If the BM still was not progressing by the time he came back to the hospital after his appointments, he would perform the C-section. BM started to get anxious. We tried our best to comfort her. As the day progressed, the sky gave way to the light snow once again. It was so beautiful watching the snow fall lightly through the windows while we waited as the BM labored.
Surprisingly, the doctor came back early, around 3:30, and decided to go ahead with the C-section. BM was extremely disappointed and afraid. She had never been through any kind of surgery before and was completely terrified. Her mom, family member, DH and I stood over her in her hospital bed and held hands while we prayed that she would be comforted by God and that the doctor would have the wisdom to perform the surgery without a hitch, that there would not be any complications, and that BM would feel our love and support. Then she was prepped for surgery.
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