Baby's Room and Holiday Party

Not much going on right now on the adoption front...just waiting for a match!  We did get DD's new big girl bedroom suite and we set up the baby's room with DD's baby furniture.  DH painted the baby's room blue.  Not because we are hoping for a boy, but because it would work for either boy or girl.  It would work for a boy for obvious reasons and would match the sailboat nursery theme we picked out if we have a boy.  Blue would also look great with hot pink bedding for a baby girl.  We are set either way and are excited for a healthy baby, whether it be boy or girl!
Also, we are going to a Holiday Party this weekend in Williamsburg that our agency is hosting.  We will be able to meet other families who have adopted and talk with them about their experience.  We will also be able to meet with birth parents.  It's a time for the adoption triad to come together: adoptive parents, birth parents, and the children who were adopted.  We are looking forward to this and think it will be interesting to see what could be possible with our adoption and the relationship with the birth parents.
After the party, DD can't wait to go to Christmastown at Busch Gardens!

In the Books!

As of this morning, we are officially "in the books!"  This means we could get matched any time.  It could be a week, a few months, or a few years.  Hopefully either a few weeks or months!  I know God will match us at the right time with the perfect baby.  Meanwhile, we can enjoy our time with DD as the only child for now and prepare her for eventually becoming a big sister.  I guess we need to really start looking in to a "big girl bedroom suite" for DD because when the baby comes, he/she will need DD's crib.  So, finally, we are waiting!!!  Please pray for a short wait and a wonderful match with both the birthmother and the baby!

Profiles Complete

My SIL finished making our profiles look beautiful and we just had 20 copies printed today to distribute to all of the AFTH agencies.  My SIL did such a great job.  We know it took a lot of time and hard work and we are forever grateful.  So...DH is working tomorrow and so am I, so we should have the profiles in our social worker's hands Thursday morning.  Which means....we will be officially waiting for a baby on Thursday!!!  If all goes according to plan, that is.  Let's just pray it all works out and it will be a short wait!

Officially Home Study Approved!

We had our Ed Course last Friday, September 16th.  We are now home study approved!!!!  We just got our certificate in the mail!  We also had our video profile Thursday...so glad that is over!  I am definitely not a video person and DH was nervous, too.  Now all we have to do is turn in our written profile...my SIL is working on it (and it is beautiful so far) and once we turn it in, we are "in the books" and waiting for any prospective and potential "birthparents".  We are so excited!

First Bump in the Road

Well, we have our first "bump in the road" with this process.  Our Ed Course, scheduled for tomorrow, has been postponed to September 16.  Thanks a lot, Hurricane Irene.  It's just a slight bump in the road and a bit of an inconvenience because now we will need to take off work and the process will be delayed a little longer, but we do realize it is necessary for everyone's safety.  We hope everyone takes precautions and stays safe during the storm.  We look forward to the Ed Course in a few weeks!  Stay tuned...

Short Update

The Yard Sale went well.  We look forward to another one in the fall.  Until then, we are looking forward to our Education Course scheduled for next Friday, August 26.  After that, our home study will be approved!!!

Next Up? Yard Sale!

First of all, the Thirty-One Kick Off party went well.  It was a great start!  Thank you to the wonderful women who came to the party and showed their support.  Thank you to the outside orders as well!  So thoughtful and supportive!
We are having a Yard Sale this coming Saturday, August 13th from 8-12 at our house.  We have many different items, including furniture and...wait for it....a boat!  My Dad has graciously donated his boat for the sale.  If anyone is interested in a boat, furniture, or other misc. items, please stop by on Saturday!

Thirty-One Debut Party and Yard Sale

I am having my Thirty-One Debut Party on August 5th.  I hope those of you who are in town can make it, but if you are out of town, you can still hostess a catalog/virtual party or you can just choose to shop the website if you are interested.  www.mythirtyone.com/LindseyOlinda

Thank you for your support in helping me kick-off this business, as all commissions will go towards adoption expenses!

We are also planning on having a yard sale mid-August, so if you have any items to donate, we would appreciate taking it off your hands!  I will post more once we start to plan and advertise it.  

Meanwhile, we are beginning to work on our profile, looking through pictures, trying to find the words that  will give the potential birth parents a realistic picture of what our lives are like....which is more difficult than one would think.

Great Home Visit!

Our home visit went very well this morning!  We had a mini profile meeting first.  Our DD, by the way, did awesome entertaining herself while we met with our case worker and the student intern.  We were so proud of her!  The mini profile meeting was basically going over our profile key, which is the form the social workers use when selecting which profiles would be most compatible to show birth mothers.  She also went over how to create a profile and briefly described situations that would come up during placement.  Then she took a tour of our house, which she describes as her just getting decoration ideas.  Love it!
She says the rest of the information will be shared at our Educational Course in August.  She can't approve us for home study completion until after the course, but said she would do it right after our Ed class.  That means we should be "in the books" waiting for a baby by September!!!  This is exciting and scary because it could mean a very short wait, like the following week or next day....or in 6 months...or in 2 years...who knows?!!!  Hopefully it won't be 2 years, but we definitely aren't in control.

Interview and Home Visit Scheduled

I had my interview today and it went well!  My case worker and her student intern have a way of making you feel comfortable, so it wasn't bad at all.  She was impressed with our autobiographies because they were so detailed and we did them in record time!  It helps when you're off for the summer and when DD went to Vacation Bible School, we were able to work on it for a few hours.  She said she wants to clone DH because he is such a positive person and family man.
Our home visit is next on the list and it is scheduled for....tomorrow morning!!!  Our case worker doesn't mess around!  I love that!  After the home visit, we will work on our profile (this is what the birth mother will look at to choose a family for her child) and take the Educational Course at the end of August.  Exciting!
Just so you know...I consider myself more of a "private" person.  It's uncomfortable for me to share personal things about myself, so letting everyone in to this new journey is really stepping out of my comfort zone.  However, it is such a learning experience for both of us and having everyone's moral support is just awesome.  We thank you so much!  We couldn't do it without you.

Interviews

DH had his interview for the home study this morning.  He said it went very well.  Our case worker is very impressed with our autobiographies and said we completed them "in record time!"  She asked a few questions and DH said it was a great meeting.  Our case worker sent him home with some homework for us to do...books to read and our profile key to fill out.  My interview is set for Monday morning.  I hope it goes as well as his!

Thirty One!

Just received an email from Thirty-One that I can start as a consultant sooner than I thought!  I will (hopefully) be up and running on Friday and then I can start booking parties!  This is so exciting to me because not only do I love the thirty-one products, I will be able to sell them and all of the income will go towards the adoption expenses.  It is a great way to help offset the cost.  If anyone is interested in setting a date to host a party, please let me know.
Also, we are looking to do a yard sale in August.  Everything will go towards the adoption.  We don't have the details ironed out yet, but will have more information as we start to plan it.
We are about 95% finished with our paperwork.  We will submit everything to the agency by the end of the week.  After that, we have our home study interviews together, individually, and at our home.  Then we take the educational course at the end of August.  One step at a time!

Home Study Process Has Started!

We met with our agency today to get all the paperwork that is involved in the home study process.  There is SO much to do, including 10 pages of just questions for our autobiographies (so you can imagine how many pages for us times two!) and all of the background check forms, etc.  Most of it sounds like fun, though, for me. I think I'm weird like that, though.
What's even more exciting, though, is that our case worker said it will probably be around the end of August when will will be "in the books" if we get approved after the home study and educational course.  Off to wade through some of the paperwork...

First Check of Many

We did it!  We handed over our first check of many to the agency.  We have another meeting with our case worker next Wednesday to go ahead and start the home study process.  This meeting will just be getting paperwork situated and get details so we know what we need to do on our end.  We are excited and nervous!  The process has officially begun!

Here we go...

After talking with several families who have used AFTH for their adoptions...all had positive experiences with the agency, we have decided to go with AFTH!  We have filled out the application and are ready to submit it to the agency, along with the nonrefundable $500 application fee!    It is exciting and scary, but we are ready.  Final decision.  Our DD will make an awesome big sister when the time comes. We didn't go through all we've been through to not have a second child, so this is the right decision for us.  Thank you, God, for the clarification.  Here we go!!!!

ETA:  We have an appointment with a case worker at AFTH tomorrow morning to turn in our application, some other forms, the fee, and hopefully talk about when we'll do our adoption counseling.  I believe that's what comes next.  :-)

Fundraising

We are going to start delving in to fundraising for the adoption since we (obviously) don't have $35,000 lying around...I wish! LOL.  A few things we are going to do...and PLEASE let me know if you have any other ideas.  I am planning on becoming a 31 consultant and all of the income will go towards the adoption.  If you don't know what 31 is, it is a collection of awesome "products with a purpose" such as totes, organizers, rolling totes, utility totes, purses, iron cases, wallets, thermal totes, thermal lunch bags, cosmetic bags, you name it!  I have been interested in the products and the company ever since one of my friends who is a consultant, introduced me to it and I had a party.  Unfortunately, 31 isn't accepting new enrollments at the moment, but hopefully by the fall, I can get set up.  Something exciting to look forward to!
I also have a "Donate" button on this blog set up to go into my PayPal account just for the adoption.  If anyone is so inclined, we appreciate any and every cent anyone can spare.
We are also looking into fundraising online, maybe doing a yard sale a little later, possibly a baby bottle drive.  We probably won't get into those (and some other ideas I have brewing) until either the home study is complete or we're in the midst of it.
If anyone has any ideas or would like to donate, we would be forever grateful.

Met with AFTH

After emailing Shore Adoption on June 1st and getting a response that although they had hired a new case worker, there wasn't much progress and they don't anticipate much progress any time soon, we made an appointment with Adoptions from the Heart.  We met with one of their case workers who would most likely be assigned to us if we chose that agency, along with one of their student interns and the office manager.  We immediately felt like Adoptions from the Heart was more organized than Shore.  It seems like they have it together, although they are significantly more expensive than Shore.  The case worker invited us to their annual picnic which will be held this Saturday.  The picnic is for adoptive families to meet up with the birthparents to have a more "informal" meeting that is in a comfortable setting for all.  The case worker invited us so that we could directly talk to some adoptive families that used AFTH.  This is something we were not offered with Shore.  They wouldn't even give us names of adoptive families that recommended Shore, as it was a "privacy policy."
We are happy with AFTH so far, but we still have some homework to do.  If we don't get to the picnic tomorrow, as we have SO much to do tomorrow, we will definitely be emailing some of the adoptive families on the list.  The case worker recommended that we ask what their most difficult experience was in the adoption process.  Looking forward to doing our homework and hopefully get the ball rolling.  One of the major hang-ups, however, is the finances.  I can not stress how expensive it is to adopt!  I know that if it is meant to be, God will provide the finances in one way or another.  Time will tell...

Still Waiting

I haven't given an update in a few months because nothing has happened.  We met with Shore Adoption on March 4th and were put "on hold" to begin the home study process because they are in the process of hiring a new case worker for the agency.  Shore is a very small agency, which is one of the "pros" for us originally, because we felt that made it more personal.   We also had good reviews from one of DH's co-workers who had gone through the agency to adopt his daughter.
I contact the agency at the beginning of each month and there is no progress so far.  We don't want to wait forever for this agency to even start the home study process, but adoption is extremely expensive, so we don't want to dump a bunch of money in to another agency without feeling 100% comfortable.  We are now researching other agencies.  We were even thinking about international, but I think we are more comfortable with domestic.
Our next step is to set up informational meetings with other agencies and decide on an agency to take us through this journey.

Something to Remember

I got this from someone's signature in a forum that I frequent.  Love it and it says it all:

Natural Child: Any child who is not artificial.

Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.

Your Own Child: Any child who is not someone else's child.

Adopted Child: A natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.

- Rita Laws, PhD - 

Balanced Translocation and Meeting

So....just heard back from the RE about our karyotyping results. Apparently both DH and I are freak shows! Not only do I have my own blood clotting disorders and embryonic toxic factor, but DH is a balanced translocation carrier of chromosomes 12 and 16. A balanced translocation can cause miscarriages, infertility, and/or birth defects of a baby.

We already knew this, but our daughter is an ABSOLUTE MIRACLE. Thank you, Lord God, for our miracle child. She is such a blessing.

I feel relieved that there is an answer to all of this heartache. There is a reason why all of it was happening to us. The RE wants us to speak to a genetic counselor at Maternal Fetal Medicine. I am very interested in this because I want to find out if our daughter is a carrier, as well, and if she will have reproductive problems in the future. I hope with all my heart that she is spared.

This diagnosis makes us even more confident in our decision to adopt. I felt as if God was telling me it was okay to start this journey on Thursday when I spoke to R, who is adopting through the same agency. Now, I feel like this is an actual sign that we are to move forward in the adoption process.

We met with the agency yesterday to ask more questions one-on-one and to get the process started. However, we are waiting because to be fair, they want some of the adoptive families that have been waiting for a while to be matched before they put us in the pool. She said we could get started on our profile and we could take educational classes through the agency as they come up, but we will have to wait a few months to begin the actual home study process. Disappointing, yes, but I am glad they are looking out for all parties involved, though. It shows me they are really thinking about the families.

We are excited to moving forward in this journey.

Consult and Beginning Adoption Process

We had our consult appointment with Dr. Robin on February 21 to go over what happened and why and to see if she could pull anymore tricks out of her hat for us on the testing and TTC front. She is thinking the latest cause for our recent m/c is either chromosomal or unexplained. We know it's not a blood clotting thing or because of low progesterone because I was covered in both of those areas. I told her I had a hard time believing it was chromosomal after so many m/c that we've had.

She explained to us about a French couple that had come to her after not getting pregnant and then when they did get pregnant (finally) they would always m/c. Sounds kind of familiar to us...I'm listening. They finally did a parental karyotyping test, which is a simple blood test, on them and found out that (in simple terms) their chromosomes were not matching up. Their chromosomes were fine on their own, but when they went to make a baby, 9 times out of ten, it wouldn't "match up correctly". They do have a correction for this, which would be an IVF and they would take out a cell from each embryo and test it to see if it is normal or abnormal. One cell in the embryo tells them about the other cells in the embryo. They would then only take the normal celled embryos to place back for the embryo transfer. This test is the cost of a regular IVF plus about $4000 more for the cell testing.

Anyway, this may be a possibility for us. I don't think the IVF and cell testing is a possibility because of the ginormous cost, but we already did the parental karyotyping blood test just to see if we have this problem. If we do, that would be one more problem added on to the problems we already have, so we would probably just stop TTC. Unless, of course, we won the lottery or something and came across some money to afford this procedure. We are going to wait for the results before deciding anything, though.

Meanwhile, we have an appointment tomorrow with our agency to ask more questions and get started with the application process for the adoption. We are excited about this new adventure, but a little nervous, too. I have my list of questions ready.

Today at school one of the maintenance guys came in that I recognized from working at another school. I had always seen him at another school and we had always had this connection because he got married to his wife shortly after DH and I got married. He and his wife honeymooned at the same place DH and I honeymooned. In talking with him today, he asked if I had any kids and I told him I had a two year old and asked about him. He said he and his wife are adopting! They are adopting using the same agency we are going to tomorrow! I shared with him that we are considering adoption, too, and he gave me his email in case I wanted to talk to his wife about anything. I felt like this was God's way of telling me everything is going to be okay. Thank you, Lord.

It Didn't Work

It's been awhile since I have posted on this blog, probably because I've been busy STILL hoping, waiting, and praying for a second baby.

Let's recap on what's happened in the last 10 months. I really thought I would have a second baby by now or at least be pregnant with one. The pregnancy last April did not work out. My beta numbers continued to drop. The only good news was that it was not ectopic. I was only seeing the OB at that point, since we had gotten pregnant on our own. We made an appointment to see Dr. Robin, our RE, again.

At the consult, Dr. Robin told us that with the medication the OB had me on (Progesterone 3x/day, not Prometrium 4x/day) the pregnancy didn't stand a chance. (Although she said it in nicer terms). So, the plan was to do what we did last time when we had our sticky baby, Gabby. Clomid to induce ovulation, along with Lovenox injections and baby aspirin for the clotting, Prometrium 4x/day opposed to 3x/day for the embryonic toxic factor, and estrace to thicken the lining.

Good plan. Should work, right? Nope. We had a failed Clomid cycle in May. Even with the estrace, my lining wasn't as thick as it should be for a pregnancy to implant, probably due to the Clomid, so we moved on to Femara in June. Femara doesn't affect the lining, works just as well as Clomid for ovulation induction, and doesn't stay in the system as long as Clomid, which is good. However, a lot of RE doctors don't prescribe it because it would be "off label." Femara is primarily a breast cancer drug. My RE agreed to prescribe it, though. Although my follicles responded well, as with Clomid, it was another failed cycle.

Even though it had really only been two cycles with the RE, we were ready for some results, so when Dr. Robin suggested an injectable (Repronex) for ovulation induction, which is supposed to increase follicle production even more, along with an IUI, we jumped at the chance. Especially after hearing that she would give us a free sample of Repronex. Injectables are incredibly expensive, which is one of our hang-ups with them. Our insurance SUCKS. It doesn't cover fertility meds at ALL. More to come with that later. The RE had also added PIO injections during the 2ww (PIO= progesterone in oil= intramuscular injection given every other day in the rear end= NOT fun but actually Lovenox is worse).

Okay, so my follicles responded well to the Repronex adn we were really excited that the IUI would do the trick, especially with DH's awesome count. Nope. Another failed cycle. Devastated. I will always remember being in Florida for our "Family Vacation" in July and getting that BFN. Also, having some people during that time saying "Are you SURE you want two?" as their children ran around did NOT help.

Fast forward to August for another injectables plus IUI attempt. This time we went with Follistim instead of Repronex. We had to pay $300 for 900iu which is an AWESOME deal, though still expensive. The RE office had given us a list of women who had extra meds that they wouldn't be using and were selling for cheaper than what they bought it for. My follicles responded SO well to the Follistim that I had 5 lead follicles, which meant, if all fertilized, would be 5 babies. No thank you! We converted the cycle to IVF so that we could place back the number of embryos we wanted and wouldn't chance the 5. What a whirlwind decision! IVF?!!! Who would have thought?!! VERY expensive and out of pocket very quickly. There goes my inheritance money! We knew Grannie would have approved of the attempt to make more great grandchildren for her, though, so we were confident in our decision. We were SO hopeful that all this would pay off and work. It did not. Failed IVF attempt. I did, however, have to keep going for beta draws because my level "was not positive, but not negative." It was a 7. Pretty negative to me. They consider below 5 negative and above 15 positive.

We had a consultation with Dr. Robin to discuss why it didn't work (she doesn't know, it really SHOULD have worked) and she confirmed that I am infertile.

I took the rest of September, October, November, and December off. It was a nice break. No fertility medications to worry about, no TTC/2WW to fret about, just me and DH and our beautiful daughter. We enjoyed the holidays as our family of 3, dreaming that next year we will celebrate with another addition to complete the family. Whatever that meant. By this point, we were contemplating adoption. While we would love love LOVE to become pregnant again with another sticky baby, we know it is not the only way to complete the family.

January came all too soon and it was time to TTC again. More going back to the RE for ultrasounds, bloodwork, EXPENSIVE fertility meds... this time the Follistim from one of the girls on the list was $400 for 900iu. This is still a great deal, half off, but when paying out of pocket as a city-worker, after other failed treatments, EXPENSIVE! Also, the RE added yet another medication to the list...metformin! Metformin, while primarily for Type 2 diabetes patients to increase the body's response to insulin, is a medication that would "improve the egg quality" and they use it for PCOS patients. I do not have the syndrome, but I do have polysistic ovaries, so they thought metformin would help. Fine! Whatever will help! Give it to me!

They did decrease my dosage, but my follicles LOVE Follistim and responded well to it again. After the IUI (and another EXCELLENT count from DH) we learned that 6 eggs were released! 6?!!! That definitely increased the chance for multiples. I am not going to lie, I got very excited at the prospect! I would rather have multiples than none at all.

Well, towards the end of the 2ww torture, I tested because what symptoms I had due to the PIO injections were diminishing, so I knew it would be a BFN. Wrong! I was pleasantly surprised with a faint line! "I am pregnant!!!!" I wanted to shout from the roof tops. However, I knew it could all end, just like my previous 3 miscarriages, so I knew better than to do that. Instead, I went for beta draws, praying for high and doubling numbers. It didn't happen. My first number was an 84, which is low for 17dpiui, but I was still hopeful. Late implantation?! Though I knew in my heart of hearts what was about to happen. Sure enough, the beta numbers dropped. Miscarriage #4.

What to do now? We have another consultation with Dr. Robin next week. We have been through all the testing and the blood work, so I am interested to see what else there is... but in the meantime, it's nice to be on a break again. I love not having to think about it.

I really wish my body would cooperate and I could become pregnant again with another sticky baby. However, adoption is still an option...a journey we may be taking very soon. We are both over the fertility treatments and the impact of it physically, financially, and emotionally. We know adoption is no walk in the park, either. We are just open to any option that will give us our second forever child.